We started the day recuperating from wounds received in the Battle of the Bombles. Since we were pretty much on top of the mountain already, a quick reconnoiter seems to be in order. Reaching the summit we are able to see the Bog behind us, a vast forested area off to the West. To the North and East are endless mountains. A dark smoky column rises in the distance – could that be the domain of The Smith? Enough speculation, the time has come for us to return to our duties.
The journey back to the bog is uneventful. I arranged for Drax’s minion – that douche that just sat around during our last battle – to enjoy the full compliments of the bog as we trudge back. By the time we arrive back in Little Wallop, he is pale, sickly, and covered in leaches. His eyes seem to be asking me for help, but mine reply back with only menace.
A messenger arrives in the village, the horse soon dies from exhaustion (good, more tacos). He brings word that Belo has been reincarnated in the capital city to the South. It seems the time for a final confrontation is upon us. I command my loyal worshipers to make ready for a march. Everyone who can be spared from castle construction is to gear up and make ready for war. While preparations are under way, we will take care of some unfinished business with the Lady Wild.
It’s a real drag not having a proper pancake dinner before hitting the road – I decree that a new chef must be found. A pancake contest is initiated, the winner to receive my blessings, whomever finishes last – my scorn. A winner is located, still a sorry excuse for a pancake, but we must make do out here in the wilderness. Billy makes a nice lunch from the loser.
Off we go to Hautvelt, just a short blink away. We decide to just jump right in and forget any silly plans. I leave a few parting words with my people, which they dutifully records for all time. “Thou shalt have the highest quality pancakes” and “The way of Landrew is one of immediacy. It is best to dash in headlong”. Arriving in the town, we find it completely deserted. I spark up the first again in the Smith’s Temple and toss in a note, letting him know our intentions.
Into the forest we head, soon coming across a path which leads to the left and to the right. I examine the area closely and have found, without a shadow of doubt, that we must go right. My comrades in evil, fools that they are, believe that we need to go left. Are they blind? Is it not obvious? I easily convince them of the wisdom of my ways, we proceed down that path to the right. After a brief time, we come across a log traversing a stream. It is guarded by none other than the Lady Wild. She looks shorter and more masculine then I would have expected. I didn’t expect her to wear black plate male either, seems like leather would be more fitting a forest god – no matter. We engage in combat and are able to dispatch her easily. As I separate her head from body, I feel the new powers of the forest infusing my being. Easy Peasy. Not finding her horde of loot, we continue down this path. It isn’t long before I am required to put my new powers of forestry to use. We come upon an impenetrable wall of briars. I will them to remove themselves from our path, and am not at all surprised to see a path open before us. Damn, it’s great to be a god.
Continuing down the path, we come across, what I assume is The Lady Wild’s old familiar. A large boar with a neck that is four feet thick. That battle is quick, and relatively easy. So easy that I am suspicious – better safe than sorry, we sever the beasts head and mount it on a spike. I rip the tongue from hit head and feast on its bloody flesh, as does Billy.
<To be continued>